Picture it…Thanksgiving Day 2015: this is the day I made my 6th pregnancy “Facebook official.” I was 42 years old and 18 weeks pregnant.
I remember writing a pretty clever (if I do say so myself) post about food, little turkeys (aka my kiddos), being thankful for stretchy maternity pants, oh…and food. But, what I remember most are the FB replies from people. Replies included,
“So happy for you!”
People were so gracious and supportive…and, of course, surprised! One of my replies to all of the well-wishes was thanking everyone for not saying (or more like not writing) anything like, “boy, glad it’s not me” or “what?!?! You’re crazy!”
What this picture, or my “clever” FB post, or my thankful replies didn’t show was how scared I was being pregnant…at 42…with my 6th child. Now, obviously, I had done the baby and kid thing before…that wasn’t my fear. I had also, sadly, been through two miscarriages before – one just earlier in 2015; so pregnancy problems were naturally part of the fear.
What was the biggest part of my fear? Being a “late-in-life” (L.I.L.) mom.
I really didn’t care what other people thought or how I would be perceived as a L.I.L. mom. [Though I realize I’m on borrowed time before I am mistaken for my little one’s grandmother]. I rolled along with the Catholic jokes, the “fertile Myrtle” cracks, and being asked “don’t you know what causes that?” What bothered me the MOST was: how am I going to stay healthy and active enough to BE THERE for my baby as we both get older?
When I was a newlywed; people would inevitably ask if I wanted children (YES!) and, if so, how many children I wanted to have. I always replied that my plan was to have as many kids as God would give me – but I wanted to be done by age 35. My rationale, at the time: I wanted to be an active mom and be able to physically keep up with my kids. But, as the saying goes, “Man plans, God laughs.” As God’s plans would have it; half of my pregnancies occurred when I was well into the wonderfully-titled “advanced maternal age” range – with two of the pregnancies AFTER 40!
So, upon finding out I was pregnant…at 42…with my 6th child…and that I’d be 60 when the baby graduates from high school, I wanted to help alleviate my biggest fear. So, I did what everyone does to help solve life’s fears and problems: I Googled it…obsessively! I wanted to find out all I could about other peoples’ experiences with aging, being an older parent, being an older mother, being a child with an older parent, etc. etc. etc. Here is a sampling of what one may have found in my search history at the time:
“staying fit at 60 and beyond”
“inspirational people in their 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s”
“celebrities who had babies after 40”
“AARP late in life parenting”
I wanted to see real-life stories about real-life experiences in L.I.L. parenting! I wanted to know the day-to-day reality of being a L.I.L. mom! I wanted to know that I was going to be a healthy and active 60-year old when my baby graduates H.S! I wanted to know that I could keep up with my kids well into the “fall” and “winter” of my life! I wanted to know that I might meet my baby’s babies!
Above all, I wanted to know that it was going to be OK. That it might be more than OK. That it might even be pretty great.
While I found (and still find) a lot of amazing sites, stories, and blogs about L.I.L. parenting, I still felt like I needed more. By this time, though, my beautiful baby girl was born and I was too busy living the L.I.L. mom life to do much Googling about it . So, then it struck me one night, while rocking my sweet baby to sleep: why don’t you write about YOUR OWN experiences as a L.I.L mom instead of trying to find other people’s stories? Now, given that the first thought happened in Fall 2017 and this is Spring 2018…I didn’t rush right out to start this blog. In fact, I brushed the notion off for several months, thinking, “who is going to want to read about my life, my experiences?” But, the thought kept coming back stronger and stronger each time I blew it off.
“Man plans, God laughs”
So…here I am! I stopped following my plan for not doing this and am giving God’s plan a go. I strive to follow His will every day and He never lets me down when I do! ♥ So, why would this be any different?
With that being said, though, I offer a few disclaimers: I am not a writer and this is my first EVER foray into blogging. My site is not super-great looking, right now, as I know NOTHING about blogging and web design. BUT…
My hopes for this blog is to give people a glimpse of the reality of being a L.I.L mom. To do it with honesty and humor. To share fun, useful, and inspirational information with others. To build a community that informs, supports, and laughs with each other while going through this unique experience of L.I.L. parenthood. To be a resource for those who may be scared about (and then Googles) “late in life motherhood” or “having a baby in your 40’s.” To let people know it’s going to be OK. That it might be more than OK. That it might even be a pretty great adventure. 🙂