Transverse Tricksters

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At 12:00 pm, on August 12, 2010, I checked in at a local hospital for a C-Section delivery of my 3rd baby; my AMA-lite baby (I was 37 years old at the time).  Just a few days before, my doctor informed us that our baby was lying transverse (aka sideways!).  This was a new term to me – or at least a forgotten one from a long-ago taken physics class.

How could a baby be sideways???  I knew about head down and upside down (breech) but SIDEWAYS??    The doctor assured us that, while not super common, there was still a great chance of a healthy delivery with a couple of options to choose from to ensure said healthy delivery.  I automatically assumed one of the options was a C-section – which the doctor confirmed.  The other was a procedure I could only describe as torture for all parties involved with the intent of manually moving the baby (if you’ve been through this procedure, you deserve about 78 gold medals, spa days, and solo Target visits WITH free Starbucks!  YIKES!).  After I heard about that I was like, “when can we schedule the C-section?”

So…back to 12:00pm on August 12th, 2010.  I got all checked in and was sent to hang out in what seemed to be a triage room. (Interesting side note:  we were told all of the delivery rooms were full because they had an influx of patients with scheduled C-sections & inductions to ensure their babies were not born on August 13th…a Friday).  As they were doing all the pre-op stuff, an ultrasound tech came in and said, “hey…we’ve got a little time, wanna see if the little stinker turned at all?”

We said, “Sure!  Why not…I mean, we’ve got the time and who knows, right?”  [Laughter ensued because, according to the doctor, there was a minuscule chance of any turning happening so late in the game].

The tech fired up the machine and put the gel and sensor on my belly.  She’s quiet for a good couple of minutes as she scans.  Then, she looks at the nurse in the room and says, “you’re never gonna believe this…the baby’s head down.”

I knew right then and there…this baby was gonna be a game-changer.  My husband and I looked at each other and I said,

“this one’s gonna be our little trickster, I just know it.”  

FAST FORWARD 5-1/2 years…

Different doctor’s office, but same reason…I was a couple of weeks from delivering baby numero 4 (the 2nd and for reals AMA baby) and I heard the same words:  “the baby’s lying transverse.”  SERIOUSLY…AGAIN?!?!  😀   This time, being the transverse pro that I was, I immediately waved off the doctor’s explanation / offering of the torture (again, may I please reiterate that if you’ve had aforementioned procedure, you deserve about 18 vacations with 24/7 poolside cabana service and yearly new wardrobes! DOUBLE YIKES!!) and she and I agreed that a scheduled C-section is the way to go.  Cinco de Mayo was the chosen date.

Guess what???  Second verse…same as the first!!!  Another transverse trickster!!  But, this one upped the ante:  I went into labor on my own…the day before the scheduled C-section.   I had not done that with the previous 3 kiddos (they all had to be served eviction notices via Pitocin).  My husband and I already knew this one was really gonna flip the script for us (I mean, she ALREADY had!); but, knowing that script was gonna be flipped with both of us being 5+ years older…whoa.

Things were going to a whole. notha.’ level.  

Our oldest two kiddos have first names that both begin with “S” and the younger two (AMA) kiddos have first names that both begin with “B.”   My husband likes to joke that “we have a lot of BS in our house!”  LOL!

The transverse tricksters have stayed true to their pre-birth ways, too.  They are my ornery and mischievous ones…the ones I have to keep two extra eyes on…the ones that are always keeping me on my toes…the ones that, after correcting them for doing something inappropriate (and, oftentimes, HILARIOUS), I have to go into another room to laugh.  God-willing, these two B’s keep me buzzing for many, many years to come.

And, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  ♥

“Then our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with joyful songs. Then the nations said, “The LORD has done spectacular things for them. The LORD has done spectacular things for us. We are overjoyed.”

Psalm 126: 2-3 

*”Transverse Lie” graphic courtesy of Healthline.com

*Jester Hat graphic courtesy of Design Droide

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